Sunday, August 26, 2007

Random Thoughts

I've been musing lately about things from my past. The things that God has done for me or lead me through that have been a great benefit to me. One thing that stands out is how God has helped me to relate to both sexes in a beneficial way. The relearning, or perhaps, new learning that has been coming to mind most is how Jesus gave me a safe environment to learn how to have beneficial relationships with women.

I had been attending Green Valley Christian Church and as God lead me out of the life style and into a married relationship, He gave me my vary own incubator to practice being in same sex relationships that were right and a glory to Him. I knew how to view women as an object of meeting my lusts and desires, wants and needs. I also knew how to hate women whom I viewed as weak based upon my own weaknesses and view of my own femininity. Here God placed me smack dab in the middle of a little church with wonderful Godly women.

Just like learning a new sport you have to practice to get good at it. I was in twice a week practices and in some weeks more often. Green Valley had a group of woman that anyone would aspire to spend time with. These were Godly women whom loved God, walked with Him daily, and desired to serve Him. As I shared my story and started to get to know some of these women God allowed me some closer more intimate relationships with a few of them.

For me to be in this environment was very intimidating. I did not know how to give and take in a relationship with women. I didn't understand the blessings that same sex relationships that God intended for us. All I knew is, if I opened myself up to these woman, knowing that what I knew how to do best was un-Godly, I could be taken over by old patterns of behavior and put me and any one of these women in a compromising situation. I did not want that. I just wanted it to all be OK. God did too, but He had some things for me to learn, thus the incubator.

If you knew me at all you would know that I'm a woman who is serious about everything. I tend to live in my head and to focus on achieving an objective in front of me is a natural. Although sometimes I cannot see the forest through the trees. Thus my approach in relating to a few of these Godly women was very straight forward. I told them that I wanted to pursue a relationship with them but needed to be sure that they did not struggle, at all, with same sex attractions. I told them that I could not yet trust myself in our relationship and in fact may try to kiss them at some point. I needed to know that they would help me learn to relate properly and not take advantage of my weaknesses. Now mind you, I did not say this to every single woman that I was in contact with. Only those few that I knew were in a place that I wanted to get to with Jesus. Only those few that I felt safe enough to talk to so openly. Only those few whom I knew I already had some what of an attraction to that could lead to an un-Godly relationship.

Thus over the next few years I had the opportunity and privilege to be with these Godly women. To work on committees with them. To learn how to raise my children with them. To learn how to be married. To meet with them for tea, coffee, and the like. To spend time with them learning God's Holy Word (which is my saving grace even today). To learn to pray with them for myself and others, and the list goes on. These women invited me into their lives and allowed me the opportunity to practice relating to them in a way that glorifies God. I did make mistakes and they continued to love me. What a blessing it has been. To bring this little musing to an end without taking up much more space on this website. I'll summarize the gained learning from this incubator experience. I am now able to see others, particularly women, as gifts from God. All who are given a treasure of gifts and talents by Him. Some women you need to dig a bit to begin to see the wonder of who they are. It is always worth it to dig for you will be blessed by the diamond inside of that rough exterior. Not all women hide who they are. Some are resting in Christ and you can see them immediately. These are those who place their trust in Him and serve Him with their whole heart.

To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy--to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forever. Amen (Jude 24 & 25)

1 comment:

KauaiMark said...

"...Just like learning a new sport you have to practice to get good at it"

How's your racquetball game coming? Ready for a re-match?

Didn't know you had a blog until Claudette told me.