Living Waters - Would you pray with me?

What is Living Waters?  Such a good question and the answers could be many an varied.  I could share many things myself but there is one specific answer that best defines why I asked in the first place.

Living Waters is a discipleship series aimed at restoring God's image in humanity.  This restoration results in sexual and relational wholeness.  Living Waters defines "wholeness" as the freedom to manifest in one's personal identity & human relationships the goodness of what it means to be male and female.  This goodness is experienced in affirming non-erotic relationships with the same gender and in trusting relationships with the opposite gender, which can result in sexual fulfillment within the boundaries of marriage.

This past February 2019 I attended the Living Waters Leadership Training and was commissioned and released as a Living Waters Coordinator.  It's my hope to establish a Living Waters Pilot Program this Fall.

My hope for the LW Pilot will consist of 8 - 10 people, both male and female.  We will meet for a shortened version of the regular 20-week program.  For now, we are shooting for 10 weeks.  We will need a worship team, prayer team, 8 - 10 folks whom God calls forward to be a part of this.  We will meet at Christian Life Center here in Missoula, MT.

Some of the topics that we will choose from are:  Acknowledging our need, Becoming Responsive to the Father's Love, The Fighting Father, Revealing Christ through the Gift of Our Bodies, the Cross & Confession, Renouncing Idols, Identifying Brokenness & Resuming the Journey, The True Self Forgives, the True Self Loves His/Her Gender, Restoring Women's Honor, Restoring Men's Honor, For the Bride, and several others.

The Living Waters Ministry comes from Desert Streams Ministry.  Desert Streams was started by Andy Comiskey almost 4 decades ago and is now an international ministry to many all over the world.  You can read the Year End Report for 2018 by clicking on this link.

Would you join me in praying?  It's my heart's desire to see a Living Waters Ministry established in my church, Christian Life Center.  Establishing this pilot is the first step.  I cannot do this without prayer support.   Please pray for:

• Prayer Team consisting of 2 - 4 people (praying during each of the 10 sessions)
• Worship Team consisting of 2 people (male & female) 
• Participants, 8 - 10 people (who will become leaders after the pilot)
• Discernment of which of the 20 chapters we will use for this 10-week pilot
• Logistical details in my church, rooms to use, specific dates in the Fall, etc.
• Small Group Leaders for the men and women's small group time

If you are willing to pray with me, would you respond by adding your name to the comments section so I am aware and can keep you updated regarding the progress made?  Thank you.  

God heals, Dreams fade, and Life manifests

I read a blog post this morning by Amy Roidan, "Letting Go of a same-sex relationship," that brought back to me the memory of a dream that I held onto as I followed Jesus out of a lesbian life into a life lived fully devoted to Him.  That dream was a life jacket in the storm of letting go of my last lover.

It's been over 32 years since Jesus spoke to my heart and asked me to be fully devoted to Him.  I write now from the perspective of that life lived with Jesus.  I've been married to my husband Karl since 1988.  We have 5 children together ranging in ages from 27 to 14.  We have four sons and one daughter.  My daughter is my youngest and still in my home.  It's almost hard to believe that we only have 4 more years with her until we are empty nesters.

I could not have dreamed of the life that God has given me.  It was not possible.  My life today was not even in my imagination.

I had walked with Jesus for two years while living with my last lover.  When Jesus asked me to choose between my life with her or a life fully devoted to Him, there was no way to deny Him.  He had touched me, healed me, and changed me in two major areas of life and I wanted Him.  I knew there was no life without Him.  I also believed that I would not survive without someone sharing life with me.  I asked Jesus to bring me a husband and teach me how to love and trust him.  I also committed to Jesus that I would not get involved with any man that was not actively walking with Him.

Even with my prayer, I could not dream of the life that I have today.  What I did dream reflected the value of what I was giving up for Him and also incorporated my hope of what God could possibly do as well.  My dream was of one day sitting on the back yard deck, on a warm summers day, with my last lover.  We chatted over tea and watched our children playing together.  These children came from our separate lives and marriages.  This dream was living and active in my heart and mind.  I could feel the warmth of the day.  I could see the green grass.  I could hear the sounds of children playing in the yard.  I could see my last lover in the other chair.  It was strong and vivid.

After we physically separated our lives, which happened in a very short span of time, we spent many hours on the phone crying and lamenting the great loss we both felt.  There were many times during those calls where we talked about this dream of mine.  There was no rule book of how to unravel our lives after having lived with each other for two years.  As the next year progressed and our lives changed, the need to call ebbed away, the tears faded, and we became independent from one another.

Jesus never chided me for my dream.  He never even commented on my dream.  Jesus was drawing me closer to Him and helping me become the women that He had intended me to be from the very beginning.  I had no idea of who He had intended me to be.  If someone with the gift of prophecy had said to me in the beginning that I would be married with five children.  That I would love babies, respect my husband, teach Sunday school, that I would no longer struggle with same-sex attraction, that I would find safety and protection in being under the covering of my husband, that I would enjoy doors being open for me by any man, that I would enjoy being in the world of women, that I would love being feminine, that I would no longer walk in the fear of rejection, etc.  I would have dismissed this prophet easily, knowing that none of that was really possible.

Jesus did not need to say anything about my dream, it did not prevent him from what He was really doing in my life.  The dream just faded away as He brought forward the life that He purposed for me.  I am so thankful.

This past August, my husband and I entered a new season of life, that of being grandparents.  Our oldest son and his wife had our very first grandbaby.  The joy of a grammy's heart is indescribable.  Jesus is still at work in me to manifest the life that He has made me for.  I am eternally grateful.